London Mayor Proposes Car Ban As Terror Remedy

In the face of continued terror attacks, London’s mayor Sadiq Khan has come up with a radical solution: since many a terrorist has resorted to ramming pedestrians with vehicles, cut to the root of the problem – ban cars.

At least, in areas where the attacks are most likely to happen.

What’s that you say? Radicalized Islamists are the root of the problem? Well, Europe’s powers that be have decided that such an issue is unsolvable, so the next best option is the suppression of their tools of violence.

Firearms are already strictly legislated in the United Kingdom, as the BBC describes:

‘The UK has some of the toughest gun control laws in the world. If you want to own a gun, it is very difficult to do so. In short, it has been designed to put as many barriers in the way as possible and to assume the worst, rather than hope for the best.’

And, Khan has already implemented an extreme crackdown on knives.

Yet, the problem of terror persists. On Tuesday, a car broke through security barriers outside of London’s Houses of Parliament, injuring three in what was quite obviously yet another terror attack. Eventually, the suspect would be named and – shocker – he wasn’t named Henry, David, or Hugh. His name was Salih Khater, originally from Sudan, and he was known to frequent the Birmingham Central Mosque.

Car-assisted jihad strikes again in London, for the fourth time in eighteen months. Despite the bollards/eyesores erected throughout the once-majestic city as half-measures protecting the likes of Buckingham Palace and the Prime Minister’s residence on Downing Street, terrorists continue to misuse the most accessible weapon in London, the car.

Guns are extremely difficult to acquire. Knives are becoming harder and harder to obtain and carry on person. So, logically, the next step is to take away the remaining tool of terror: cars.

‘London Mayor Sadiq Khan said Wednesday he wants to ban cars from certain areas of Parliament Square in response to a suspected terror attack on Tuesday.

Khan told BBC radio that making certain areas only available to pedestrians would provide more safety to both citizens and buildings in the surrounding area. But he also said the city would need to ensure people “don’t lose one important thing about our democracy: People having an access to parliamentarians, people being able to lobby parliament and being able to come and visit parliament.”’ (Politico)

Khan has made capitulation to radicals an art form, the stuff of absurdist comedy, really. Never will he utter a harsh word against the attacker, only platitudes about unity and, always, the virtue of not rushing to judgement about the religion or ethnicity of the assailant. And then, like clockwork, Khan will find a futile, borderline-inconceivable way to further turn London into a padded terrorist playground which non-jihadi Londoners simply happen to reside in.

Khan’s predecessors did their part in taking away the guns, but Khan has gone two steps further. First, he came for the knives – which, keep in mind, can be tools of protection just as they are tools of terror – and now the vehicles that once seemed so innocuous are the rotten apple of Khan’s eye. And, while Khan has considered de-vehicularizing all of London, that simply wouldn’t be practical.

“I think there would be lots of challenges if we would do the whole square. It is a thoroughfare for cars, vehicles and commercial deliveries going through London,” he said.

But, he’s given it some thought. We don’t have to shut down some of London’s most popular tourist spots completely – though he considered that. We simply make them car-free, presumably with a designated cab drop-off zone, say, 300 yards away.

“So it’s possible to have a designed solution … in keeping our buildings and people as safe as we can do. And also not losing what is so wonderful about our city that is a vibrant democracy, people can walk around safely.”

Hopefully you are able-bodied!

Pretty soon, Sadiq Khan is going to run out of things to ban. Eventually, the tourist spots will be closed. And, as terrorists find the average pedestrian just fine as a victim, eventually Khan will propose banning all-non jihadis from the streets of London. Because, just like having no guns, no knives, and no cars, terrorists can’t rack up their victim count without…victims.


If only it were a joke...

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