NJ Adopts Invincibility for Booker While Poor Residents Flee to NYC

While the state of New Jersey continues to dig itself deeper into economic holes that are encroaching upon the bottom of the national barrel, the state legislature is taking measures to ensure that its most prominent Senator is virtually invincible, at least when it comes to retaining a position of political influence.

Senator Cory Booker, known sarcastically in some circles simply as Spartacus, is one of the most polarizing political figures in Washington, D.C. Booker, who is known as a high-energy, coffee-loving Obama-lite, mainstay (no, that’s not a compliment) of the Swamp, has garnered controversy despite a true gift for self-promotion that frequently crosses the line into shamelessness. Consider the stories – all circulated by Booker or his aides – that helped elevate the once-Mayor of Newark, NJ into a rising star who bordered on the mythical. Politico succinctly, and sarcastically, sums up some of the most prominent Cory Booker origin stories.

‘This is the city where the myth of Cory Booker, Super Mayor, was born. It was in the Upper Clinton Hill neighborhood that the Stanford- and Yale-educated Booker ran into a burning building to save a young woman. That was only a mile from the steps where, years before as a young city councilman, he had cradled a dying gunshot victim. No mission was too small for Booker—once he even delivered diapers to a snowbound mother of five.’ (Politico)

Though, like most myths, the tale of Cory Booker turned out to be too good to be true. Newark is a city defined, mainly, by poverty – and the fact that they have an airport you might fly into when visiting the nation’s most important city. Newark’s residents would also be quick to point out one commonality, despite the many differences that surely exist among them: the crime.

Newark, unsurprisingly, came in hot at #15 on the list of “Murder Capitals of America” for 2018. While Booker’s supporters would have you believe that he spearheaded an “urban renewal” –  code for ‘prime skimming opportunity – during his time as mayor from 2002 to 2013, crime rates, and murder, in particular, remained sky-high. In the year he exited from office, a time when most politicians who effectively combat crime would, at least theoretically, see some of their best figures, Newark’s murder rate was the third highest in the entire nation.

It’s tough to appreciate a “renewed” downtown Newark dodging a hail of gunfire, which is to say that any mayor’s tenure shouldn’t be marked by how many distressed buildings are remodeled, but by how the quality of life for the worst-off citizens is, or isn’t, improved.

Plus, there’s the apparent fact that Booker never actually lived in Newark, and therefore wasn’t technically qualified to be mayor. Don’t believe me? Ask his neighbors, who said they never saw Booker enter, exit, or walk by his “residence” during his tenure as head man in New-town. Not once.

If you’re interested, there are plenty of other ‘hindsight is 20/20’-veined articles lamenting Booker’s much-hyped but notably substance-free tenure as Mayor of Newark.

Regardless, Booker had the articulation, the look, and the political allies to become the “rockstar” – Rockstar-ticus, if you will – Senator that was considered one of the favorites to be Hillary’s VP in 2016, even though that proved not to be the case.

When Booker was Mayor, nobody could deny that the had ambitions of manning a seat in the Senate. Now a Senator, it’s clearer than ever that Booker has his eye on the White House. And, with friends ranging from Barack Obama to hedge fund pseudo-celeb Bill Ackman, it would be unwise to bet against Booker, especially in these divided times.

The guy is a modern freaking Spartacus! Just ask him!

But, unlike Spartacus, Booker isn’t quite bold enough to take on the establishment while risking it all. In fact, Booker doesn’t want to risk anything, really, and his state legislature is helping him ensure that, if a run at the White House were to fail, Booker would have a nice, cushy Senate seat to plop himself down upon once again.

‘New Jersey Democrats are clearing the way for Sen. Cory Booker to run for reelection and president at the same time — and they’re not being bashful about their motivations.

State lawmakers on Monday quickly introduced and advanced a bill that would ensure no one could mount a legal challenge should Booker — or, in theory, another federal elected official — decide to run for the White House while trying to retain his current job.

The measure could land on Democratic Gov. Phil Murphy’s desk next week, and his office has already said he’s willing to sign it.’ (Politico)

Keep in mind that New Jersey was found to have the worst tax structure in the nation, and those taxes were raised once again not long ago, making the state allergic to not only sane, working individuals, but also businesses that would be likely to employ the less-well-to-do. As sky-high murder rates (Camden, NJ ranked third on that “Murder Capitals” list) and such insane taxation may have already tipped you to, Jersey ranked 49th among the 50 United States in terms of quality of life, and that’s not just because Jets fans are stuck rooting for the Jets.

Life in New Jersey flat-out sucks, so much so that many are fleeing to New York City for more reasonable housing – imagine that!

But, never worry, New Jersey-ites. Cory Booker will have a job, President or not. Sure, you can’t afford your light bill, but rest easy knowing that Cory Booker, Superstar will never have to worry about such an issue. White House or no White House, he good. Man of the people, ya heard?!

And, know that, even in your despair, your tireless state legislature is taking care of Cory…for you. You’re welcome.

In the year that Cory Booker left Newark for Washington, D.C., the city saw the highest murder rate since 1990. One author dubbed this sad state ‘The Newark that Cory Booker Left Behind’. Soon, the state with the 49th-ranked quality of life and two of the top 15 murder capitals in the U.S. could be the ‘New Jersey that Cory Booker Left Behind’.

And, while the state of the state certainly can’t all be laid on his vacant inner-city Newark doorstep, you have to admit: we’re starting to see a pattern here. Coming soon to a soup line near you circa 2028: ‘The America That Cory Booker Left Behind’, also known as, ‘Deliver Us From Cory’.

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