Monica Lewinsky Reveals in New Doc She Contemplated Suicide After Bill Clinton Affair

Monica Lewinsky opened up about the fallout from her affair with former President Bill Clinton in a new A&E documentary series “The Clinton Affair.”

Lewinsky said in an excerpt released Wednesday that she considered committing suicide after the affair went public.

"I felt terrible, I was scared," she said. "I remember looking out the window and thinking that the only way to fix this was to kill myself, was to jump out the window.”

Lewinsky said she was “still in love with bill” when she was told the affair went public.

In a Vanity Fair essay ahead of the series premiere, Lewinsky wrote that she wished Clinton would apologize to her.

“If you want to know what power looks like, watch a man safely, even smugly, do interviews for decades, without ever worrying whether he will be asked the questions he doesn’t want to answer,” Lewinsky wrote of Clinton.

Bill Clinton says he doesn't owe apology:

In an interview with NBC News host Craig Melvin earlier this year, Clinton said he does not owe Lewinsky an apology and was highly defensive about the questions.

“What feels more important to me than whether I am owed or deserving of a personal apology is my belief that Bill Clinton should want to apologize. I’m less disappointed by him, and more disappointed for him,” Lewinsky wrote. “He would be a better man for it ... and we, in turn, a better society.”

Lewinsky wants to personally apologize to Hillary:

"My first public words after the scandal — uttered in an interview with Barbara Walters on March 3, 1999 —were an apology directly to Chelsea and Mrs. Clinton," Lewinsky wrote. "And if I were to see Hillary Clinton in person today, I know that I would summon up whatever force I needed to again acknowledge to her — sincerely — how very sorry I am."

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